(Real) Names you Probably Shouldn't Use

Dick was a once-common short form of Richard; replaced by Rick or Richie, and finally by the full name itself. Rude meaning -- make that two rude meanings -- pretty much knocks this one out of consideration.

Classic name used by the Romans, the Puritans, and the Bard, but pretty much taboo today due to the objectionable connotations of both its front and back ends.

The meaning of this word flipped from "cheerful" to "homosexual" during the twentieth century, and it's now almost certainly too loaded to sit comfortably as a baby name. Which is a shame as sound-wise it's very appealing, just a short step away from Gray, Gale and Guy.

The meaning of this word flipped from "cheerful" to "homosexual" during the twentieth century, and it's now almost certainly too loaded to sit comfortably as a baby name. Which is a shame as sound-wise it's very appealing, just a short step away from Faye, May, and Rae.

Best left on the old southern plantation, sipping his mint julep.

Hortense is actually the French feminine form of Hortensia, the name of a strong, politically active early Roman woman. Hortense began to be used in the English-speaking world in the nineteenth century. Napoleon had a stepdaughter named Hortense, it was the name of one of the main characters in the film Secrets and Lies and is also associated with novelist Hortense Calisher. As unappealing as it might be to most American parents, Hortense is now Number 155 in France (as of 2021).

Hortensia is an ancient Roman name that's also the common name of the flower hydrangea. The French form of the name is Hortense, which is coming back into style in Paris but has never caught on in English-speaking countries. A secondary character in Roald Dahl's Matilda is named Hortensia.