Let Us Name Your Baby

You've probably seen the viral story of the couple considering hyphenating their last names to Bonadona-Bartlebough. In a similar dilemma, we speak to Molly and Adam, who seek advice about hyphenating their elaborate surname and a baby girl name to pair with it.

Molly and Adam write:

We are expecting our first child, a daughter, and have been really struggling with names. The biggest issue is that we will give our daughter a hyphenated surname. Our last names sound like Captain and Princess, and we’ll decide the order — Captain-Princess or Princess-Captain — based on the flow with whatever first name we choose.

With such a complicated and heavy last name, we want a short first name that’s easy to spell and pronounce. Other criteria:

– We’re Jewish, so no New Testament or names that sound actively Christian, like Mary.

– My husband likes names that sound "sleek" and "professional”, such as Anne and Leah. He is not keen on what he calls dainty names like Maisie.

– Though I know that popular names are more likely to yield an easy spelling, I want something less classic and more uncommon. I like names that feel antique. If I were naming alone, the list would be more along the lines of Ethel or even Horatio. 

Girl names we like but can’t use for a host of reasons: Eve, Maude/Maud, Tess, Ada, Anne, Clara, Eliza, Leah, Maya, Orli, Edith, Elle, Fay, Lucy, Ruth, and Willa.

Names we’d consider if we were having a boy: Abram, Hugo, Jonas, Jude.

We’re nearing the point that if you said, Your baby is named X, end of story, we’d just go with it.

Nameberry Responds:

Nameberry CEO Pamela Redmond: By the time people come to us for advice, they’ve often run through the long list of names that fit an also-long list of complex and sometimes-contradictory criteria. That’s the position you’re in, I think. You want a short name that’s sleek yet antique, uncommon but also easy. It’s hard to find a name that ticks all those boxes, and even harder when you’ve already rejected many of the names that do.

I’ve got to assume that along with the names already on your “like but can’t use” list, you’ve considered popular choices like Emma, Ava, and Zoe. So I’m going to avoid all those obvious ideas.

It also seems you have further criteria you haven’t cited or maybe even realized. For instance, all the names on your Like But Can’t Use list have a clear gender identity, are traditional names versus place or word names, and are full forms rather than nicknames.

Nameberry Editor-in-Chief Sophie Kihm: You seem to be drawn to E names, so what about Esme, Elise, Elin, Enid, or Etta? Etta in particular strikes me as a good option for you — it’s antique but definitely grounded with those sharp Ts. Greta and Rita have a similar effect.

Leaning into the clunky antiques, Thora and Theda are two mostly familiar names that you rarely hear on babies. I also love the name Minna, which is less known in the US but very intuitive.

Ada makes me think of Ida — which feels like a sister name to Maude — and Anne reminds me of Anya. Nina is another good style match for the names on your list.

Wildcard option: how about Joan? Yes, it’s more of a Jewish grandma name these days, but I would be totally charmed to meet a baby Joan. It’s a name everyone knows, has a standard spelling, is grounded and completely professional, decidedly vintage and extremely rare for babies these days. Check check check check check!

PR: I like Sophie’s suggestion of Joan, and would add Jane and June for consideration.

In fact, I’m going to tack another requirement onto your already-long list: I think one-syllable first names sound best with your double double-syllable surname. One-two-two feels like a more pleasing rhythm, to my ear, than two-two-two.

Fay was one of the first names that came to my mind, but since it’s on your out list, what about May? Though that may violate the easy-to-spell rule given Mae.

Other one-syllable names that seem to fit: Rose, Liv, Gwen, Hope, Bryn, Wren, Brooke, Paige.

In the interest of suggesting names you haven’t considered, I’m going to push the boundaries in a couple of different directions. Maybe you’ll fall in love with one of these choices and care less about coloring within the lines:

Names that might be considered short forms but that are well-used in their own right: Bea, Kate, Kay, Nell, Belle, Cass.

Names that are less clearly female: Lee, Kit, Lou, Ray, Lane, Jules, Reeve, Land, Ames, Greer, Brett, Dale, Scout.

Names that are not conventional names: Dove, Lark, Lake, Grey, Lux, Wynn, Vale, True, Rue, Snow, Hale, Swan, March, Nile, Leith.

Names that break the one-syllable rule I imposed on you: Romy, Fia, Pia, Io, Una, Zola, Yara, Dara, Vita

In the end, the most important factor in choosing a name is the one that’s hardest to define: You want to fall in love. If you find a name that sparks that emotional response, you may care less about whether it checks all the boxes.

What We're Naming Your Baby

PR: I love many of these, but you can only pick one, so I’m going to name your baby Gwen Captain-Princess.

SK: Gwen is a wonderful option, but I’m stuck on Joan! I’m naming your daughter Joan Captain-Princess.

Bonus Question

Jen writes:

My dilemma has to do with family traditions. There are name traditions on both sides of my family and my husband's family. My mother-in-law has been pushing constantly for us to follow the family tradition and refers to our baby by her family name, Ann.

I really don’t want to rock the boat — I love my in-laws — but I really don’t like the name Ann. Their name tradition has been around for four or five generations and there’s a family legend that this name lifted an infidelity curse. So now every woman for the past four generations has the same middle name!

My husband doesn’t care for Ann either and will do whatever I want. He’s frustrated that his family is pushing it so hard as well. I’ve tried suggesting other iterations of the name, but no one likes them (honestly, neither do I).

I chose to take my husband’s last name, so our child will have his last name as well. So in a way, the baby already has a name from his side. It feels more fair to use a name from my side (or none at all).

We are waiting until birth to find out the gender so it might be a nonissue. It’s giving me so much anxiety though.

Pamela Redmond responds:

I’m sorry this is causing you so much anxiety! It can be difficult to stand up to that kind of pressure, but you’ve got to do it now or it will never end. Any time there’s a choice to be made, your mother-in-law will feel she has the right to not only offer her opinion but insist that you follow it.

So I advise you to say what my daughter said to me when I tried to give her baby name advice. Tell your mother-in-law that you love her but you don’t want to talk about names anymore. You and your husband will announce the name once the baby’s born and the only thing she’s allowed to say is that she loves it.