Old People Names

Sure, he'd probably get a certain amount of red-nosed teasing around the holiday, but a boy named Rudolph could probably take it. Besides, he's got other, more distinguished namesakes -- the great ballet dancer Nureyev, silent screen Lothario Valentino and 9-11 Mayor Giuliani.

A name better left where it is, embroidered on a fifties poodle skirt.

Albertine and Alberta are old-fashioned feminizations ala Geraldine and Roberta. This is the kind of name that sounds very dowdy until a hip celebrity chooses it, at which point we don't know how we missed its coolness all this time.

Occasionally heard in Ireland, small chance of success here.

Australian opera singer Nellie Melba—self-named for her hometown of Melbourne—inspired this now-dated name more associated today with a peach dessert and dietetic toast.

Problematic, even if not for Dilbert.