Pet Names So Ugly They're Cute

Pet Names So Ugly They're Cute

Ugly names for pets are so crusty, they're actually cute. Pet parents love to use ugly names for dogs, such as Buster, Minnie, and Bruce, which are vintage names that aren't yet fashionable for babies. The same goes for ugly names for cats, such as Merlin and Garfield.

What makes a pet name ugly? The best ugly pet names are big, clunky, and full of consonants, such as Brunhilda, Gomer, and Hortense. They'd suit your funny-looking feline or you could subvert expectations and use one on your perfect purebred poodle.

These funny, old-school names are practically extinct for babies (but to be honest, we'd be thrilled to meet a baby named Gertrude or Seymour), which makes them all the better for your pet.

Here, our favorite pet names that are so ugly, they're cute — ordered by their current popularity on Nameberry.

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Funny Dog Names

  1. Beryl
    • Origin:

      Greek
    • Meaning:

      "sea-green jewel"
    • Description:

      Dated British favorite that never caught on in this country, where Jade remains the green gem of choice. Interesting namesakes: British writer Beryl Bainbridge and British aviatrix Beryl Markham.
  2. Wilbur
    • Origin:

      German
    • Meaning:

      "resolute, brilliant"
    • Description:

      Wilbur is a stylish name in the UK whose merits are just starting to be discovered in the US. Wilbur, the loveable pig who Charlotte of the Web called Some Pig, is an inspirational hero. And Wilbur and Orville Wright were early aviationists.
  3. Fergus
    • Origin:

      Scottish and Irish
    • Meaning:

      "man of force"
    • Description:

      In Celtic lore, Fergus was the ideal of manly courage, making it a charming, slightly quirky Scottish and Irish favorite.
  4. Ethel
    • Origin:

      English
    • Meaning:

      "noble maiden"
    • Description:

      Ethel is a name we once declared as 'So Far Out They'll Probably Always Be Out,' but with the return of other names on that list and with its new starbaby cred via Lily Allen, its soft sound and admirable meaning, we're not so sure.
  5. Myrtle
    • Origin:

      Greek botanical name
    • Description:

      Long in our category of so-far-out-it-will-always-be-out category, once seen as a gum-cracking 1940's telephone operator, we think it's time to reassess Myrtle, and look at is as a nature name, a plant with pink or white aromatic berries. Ruled by Venus, myrtle is a plant associated with love, peace, fertility and youth.
  6. Doris
    • Origin:

      Greek
    • Meaning:

      "gift of the ocean"
    • Description:

      Doris had long been on our so-far-out-it-will-always-be-out-for-babies list, and seemed to be written there in indelible ink. But there are signs of a sea change, that Doris could profit from the revivals of Dorothy and Dorothea.
  7. Gretchen
    • Origin:

      German, diminutive of Margarethe
    • Meaning:

      "pearl"
    • Description:

      Like Greta, Gretchen is a German Margaret diminutive that has become an American quasi-classic, though not much used today, having dropped off the list in 2009. She was at her high point in the 1970s, making it into the top 200.
  8. Blanche
    • Origin:

      French
    • Meaning:

      "white"
    • Description:

      Blanche, which originated as a nickname for a pale blonde and then became associated with the notion of purity, was in style a century ago, ranking in the double digits until 1920. She then had to fight the stereotype of faded Southern belle, a la Blanche DuBois in Tennessee Williams's A Streetcar Named Desire and Blanche Devereaux in TV's Golden Girls. Now all three of the Golden Girls--Blanche, Rose and Dorothy--could be ready for revival, with Blanche sounding like a stronger, simpler alternative to Bianca.
  9. Ursula
    • Origin:

      Latin
    • Meaning:

      "little female bear"
    • Description:

      A saint's name with a noteworthy literary background, including uses by Shakespeare in Two Gentlemen of Verona and Much Ado About Nothing, by Ben Johnson, Walter Scott, Longfellow, D. H. Lawrence and Neil Gaiman. In real life, her two most well known representatives are writer Ursula Le Guin and actress Ursula Andress. In literature, there is also Ursula Iguaran, a key, long-lived character in Gabriel Garcia Marquez's major work, One Hundred Years of Solitude.
  10. Hester
    • Origin:

      Medieval variation of Esther, Persian
    • Meaning:

      "star"
    • Description:

      The disgraced heroine of The Scarlet Letter's name, after long neglect, just might have a chance at revival, following in the wake of sister-name Esther. We've characterized her elsewhere as an eccentric aristocrat, much more accepted in the U.K. than she has been here.
  11. Wanda
    • Origin:

      Slavic or German
    • Meaning:

      "shepherdess; wanderer"
    • Description:

      Rarely heard, and when it is, usually attached to a witch. Historically, though, Wanda was a legendary eighth century queen of Poland, and in literature it is the central character of Ouida's eponymous novel Wanda. A musical namesake is the great Polish harpsichordist Wanda Landowska.
  12. Olga
    • Origin:

      Slavic variation of Helga, Norse
    • Meaning:

      "holy"
    • Description:

      This Slavic form of the Norse name Helga is a classic in many Slavic countries, including Russia and Poland, where it currently ranks within the Top 100 girl names. It has historically ranked among the most popular names in countries including Ukraine, Latvia, Spain, France, Serbia, Greece, the US, and many more. Olga is a common name even in Scandinavian countries, such as Sweden and Norway, despite Helga being a more traditional choice. Olha is the uniquely Ukrainian variation.
  13. Ennis
    • Origin:

      Irish
    • Meaning:

      "from the island"
    • Description:

      An appealing Irish placename with a unisex feel, Ennis would be a fresh alternative to Dennis and Ellis. It's little-used for boys and even rarer for girls, but since Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons used it for their son, it could be one to watch.
  14. Ebenezer
    • Origin:

      Hebrew
    • Meaning:

      "stone of help"
    • Description:

      Ebenezer is the name of a biblical place --the stone set up by Samuel to mark his victory over the Philistines--rather than a person. It was adopted by the British Puritans as a first name and then exported to America, where it had some early popularity, even entering the Top 1000 in the 1880s.
  15. Bernice
    • Origin:

      Greek
    • Meaning:

      "she who brings victory"
    • Description:

      Rarely heard today-- it fell off the list around 1980--Bernice is a biblical name of Greek origin. In the Bible, she is a sister of King Agrippa.
  16. Mingus
    • Origin:

      Scottish, variation of Menzies
    • Meaning:

      "tenants of a manor"
    • Description:

      Supermodel Helena Christensen named her son in honor of jazz great Charles Mingus, opening up a whole category of jazzy possibilities: Kenton, Calloway, Ellington, Gillespie, Mulligan, Tatum, and Thelonius.
  17. Boris
    • Origin:

      Slavic
    • Meaning:

      "to fight"
    • Description:

      Boris is one of the old Russian names being revived by chic Europeans; it hasn't quite made a comeback yet in the U.S., but it does have potential.
  18. Gertrude
    • Origin:

      German
    • Meaning:

      "strength of a spear"
    • Description:

      Could cute nickname Gertie, remembered as cute five-year-old Drew Barrymore in E.T., revive the long shunned Gertrude?
  19. Eunice
    • Origin:

      Greek
    • Meaning:

      "good victory"
    • Description:

      Eunice is a New Testament name of the mother of Timothy, long associated with one of the Kennedy sisters, the founder of the Special Olympics. As high as Number 106 in the early 1900s, it lasted on the list until 1995. Eunice was the birth name of Nina Simone, which gives it a modicum of cool.
  20. Mildred
    • Origin:

      English
    • Meaning:

      "gentle strength"
    • Description:

      When scientists do research on the effects of an unpopular name, we're afraid that Mildred is one of the examples they cite, often in tandem with Bertha and Gertrude. But with cute nickname Millie on the rise, anything's possible.