Funny Dog Names

Not unless you want your son to grow up to be just like a wacky Jack Black character.

A paradox is a statement that while seeming true contradicts itself. With the less-than-pleasant "Doxy" as an obvious nickname, Paradox is perhaps a better name for a cat than a baby.

Ever since the enormous German cannon was dubbed by Allied soldiers "Big Bertha" in World War I, this name hasn't worked for a sweet little baby girl. But this was not always so. Hard as it might be to imagine now, Bertha was a Top 100 name until the 1930s, and in the 1880s was the seventh most popular name in the land--the equal of Joseph.

Actor Farley Granger set it in motion, now could be a gentler alternative to Harley.

Yet another noble name to join King, Prince, Princess, et al. The name Empress was given to over 100 baby girls in the US last year.

Not long ago, Peppa may have been at risk for confusion with the name Pepper. But thanks to the British children's TV series Peppa Pig, Peppa is now a household name. If your household contains preschoolers, that is.

Military word names, from Cannon to Major, are in, but Tank might push things a bit too far.

Not even for the child who wreaks havoc.

This name of the glamorous mean girl in "High School Musical" is a euphonic spin on the dog breed Shar Pei, a brilliant name joke skewering the practice of picking a name for its sound without considering what it means. Other examples: Cliche, Hooker.

One of the oft-mocked Zappa kid names; it supposedly was a nickname his father had for his wife's pinkie toe.

The name St. John is much more usable in its phonetic spelling — similar to the way St. Clair evolved into Sinclair. St. John has some literary cred — St. John Rivers is a cool character in Jane Eyre.

St. John has been attached to a number of notable men — not as a first but as a middle name, one shared by Evelyn Waugh, Basil Rathbone, Richard Harris and Brian Eno.

Once unique to the Zappa family, now you can have your own little prima donna.

Name of the 7th century BC Greek lyric poet born on the island of Lesbos, whose name has been synonymous with lesbian love. Though this name is rarely used today, it certainly could be and, some might say, SHOULD be revived.

The name of the young hero of Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book, who was raised by wolves (really) and becomes a genius hunter and trapper, was chosen as a middle name for their son Bronx (really, again) by rockers Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. Kipling invented the name, whose first syllable rhymes with cow.

If Portia can become Porsche, then Apollo can morph into Polo -- the imprint of designer Ralph Lauren.

If you want a pan-Scandinavian name with energy and style that could have been a winner, if not for the sound-alike water filtration company Brita.

It's difficult to imagine anyone using the first name Jonesy -- and in fact, in the most recent US tally, there were nearly 100 babies named Jones but none named Jonesy. Still, this is a name that many people with Jones for a name, last or first, end up being known by, and as a nickname, it's sorta cute in a Skip, Chip, Bitsy kind of way.

Its jaunty o-ending makes this name more appealing than most of its Germanic brothers, and we hope we're beyond the constant response to his name being "Where's Waldo?" The weighty reputation of writer and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson adds a measure of backbone to the name.

The calming variety of marijuana, used as a baby name every year since 1992.

May be the most modern, stylish Catherine nickname: more unusual than Kate or Cate, with an animal and word name edge. Cat Power is a trendy folksinger.